April 6th, three years on

April 6th was the day i got irrationally mad at a fellow PICU parent. Her son, in the bed opposite Oscar, had become unwell and they suspected norovirus. As a precaution, our bay of beds was closed off and while we could be with Oscar we couldn’t have any visitors. I’ve dealt with norovirus in my workplace so know exactly how nasty it can be. I really didn’t want to catch it and 1) not be able to visit Oscar and 2) perhaps more importantly, i didn’t want Oscar to get it. Of course I realise now that it wasn’t the mother’s fault that her son had become unwell, and she was probably just as concerned as we were, if not more so. It surprised me at the time though, how negative my initial reaction was towards her, considering I am normally a compassionate person. I guess that was the protective mothering instinct in me coming out?(As it turned out what her son had was not norovirus or anything else contagious.)

April 6th was also the first time I saw Oscar’s eyes open since his surgery. He had been on some pretty heavy sedation that they were gradually weaning him off.

His kidneys were still not working as they should, and we were continuing with the sugary water in his stomach. The result was that he was quite puffy and swollen from retaining fluid.

April 6th was the first time we got to hold Oscar post surgery. I was terrified because of all the tubes and wires…they just made him seem so fragile. It was amazing to be able to hold my baby again though.

April 6th was when Oscar started to get mischievous again, and grab at things he wasn’t supposed to touch:

It was a day where I am grateful that we were able to create some positive memories. I also started taking more photographs again, overcoming my fear of all those tubes and wires.”

There actually aren’t many photographs of Oscar that I haven’t shared over the years, and I am very aware that eventually I will run out of “new” ones. When I originally wrote this blog I posted select pictures. I chose the ones which looked less scary. 

Today I want to share one of those pictures from when Oscar first opened his eyes after his surgery:

As I’ve mentioned, he was sedated, so that’s why he looks quite glassy eyed. It didn’t stop him from being able to people watch though. If you look at his hand in this picture, you can also see it is puffy from the extra fluid he was carrying.

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