On Oscar’s 2nd Birthday

I can hardly believe it has been two years since Oscar was born. I can still remember that day in such detail, that it just doesn’t seem possibly it was that long ago.

The day Oscar was born was also the day I expected him to die. It was a day I expected to be sad and impossible to get through. Honestly, it wasn’t really anything like that.

For a start, once my labour eventually began it was quick. From my first feelings of discomfort to Oscar being born was about 6.5 hours. I imagined that while i was in labour I would be panicked about what was going to happen, and scared about Oscar not surviving being born. In reality, it all happened so quickly and I was high on pethidine and not really able to think that much at all.
Something which we declined during labour was foetal monitoring. We knew, that because of his heart condition, and assumed lung condition, there was a good chance that labour would distress Oscar, and also were aware of a risk that it would be something he couldn’t survive. I didn’t want monitors announcing any problems he was having. Given that we were going down the route of comfort care (our only believed option) there wouldn’t have been any intervention has he become distressed.
All I know is, when he was born he was alert and screaming; something that I didn’t really expect.
From Oscar’s day of birth, I have over 200 photos. I suspect there may be a few more that family members took, which I have never seen.
It is these precious photos, and the memories we made taking them which mean Oscar’s Birthday isn’t a completely sad occasion. It is our one day where Oscar remained free from all tubes and wires. It is the one day we got to spend time together as a family, with very minimal medical intervention.
It is a day that I will always look back on with fond memories. It is the day I never thought would turn out the way it did. It is a day I cherish.
I am fully aware of just how lucky we are to have this many photos.

We had a photographer from a charity called NILMDTS on standby to take photos of Oscar, but given how fast my labour was, we realised there was a good chance that even if Oscar was born alive, he would have passed away by the time she got here. As a result Oscar’s first photos were taken by a second midwife, who was brought into the room solely to do this. I am very grateful to my midwife thinking of this, and to that anonymous midwife who took the very first photos of Oscar.
This is a portion of that very first photo:
And this is his second photo (again, cropped):
I never imagined we would get a screaming baby at birth!

I’m not even sorry that I am going to go completely overboard with photos now. I am so proud of my baby boy, and on his second birthday I would like to share some of my favourite photos from his very first day. I hope, when you see the photos you will realise like I do, that no words could ever sum Oscar and his personality up better than these photos do.

These next few were taken by the NILMDTS photographer:

And one in colour (excuse the unwashed newborn!):

And the last picture, is the very first photo I took of Oscar:


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